Negotiating Life’s Failures

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Negotiating Failure... does it exist?

Negotiation failure?  Is that really a negotiation?  Yes it is.  Negotiation is discussions to make an agreement.  That discussion is first and foremost with ourselves.  You make agreements with yourself all the time.  You rationalize things, you analyze things or agree to do something or not do something based on the information presented.

Let’s talk about failure.  Failure is a part of life.  Mary Kay Ash of Mary Kay Cosmetics said “Fail Forward to Success.”  That means you are going to have failures in life.  The key is to not let those failures derail you and cause you to give up.

Recently I’ve experienced a string of personal and professional failures.  Lost 4 major contracts I bid on; one was awarded to someone at a HIGHER price than my company’s bid!  I lost some speaking opportunities by not being selected for several speaking engagements that I applied for.  A colleague offered me the possibility of doing some training on a program they created; when I later inquired about it I was told it was going to be given to someone else who wanted to do it.  On top of that my dishwasher stopped working, one of my headlights on my car went out, one of the fluorescent light fixtures in the kitchen went out and one of the clear panels where the lights are shattered. Wow!  That’s a lot of failure all at once!

When this kind of stuff hits you in life, you have to take some time to deal with the feelings of failure.  It’s tough, it’s hard to comprehend and you can’t stuff it away and say “next” without processing the feelings.  Process them by talking to a friend or writing about it in a journal or even seeing a counselor.  You need to process the disappointment or whatever you are feeling and then move on.  That’s the operative word “move.”  You have to move beyond it.

If it’s something you need more time to process, have a “Pity Party.”  A friend told me about doing this a long time ago.  Gather your friends together and spend the night having a party.  Whine all you want, vent, go off, do whatever you need to do and then once the party is over, leave it all behind.

While failure is a part of life, staying in the failed mindset does not have to be the solution.  Do what you need to do to get beyond the failure and get back on the road to success.

The Power is in The Work!

To your success

Eldonna

Eldonna Lewis Fernandez
Eldonna Lewis Fernandez

Veteran negotiation and contracts expert Eldonna Lewis-Fernandez, author of “Think Like a Negotiator,” has over 30 years of experience crafting killer deals both stateside and internationally, many in excess of $100 million. She’s currently the CEO of Dynamic Vision International — a specialized consulting and training firm that helps individuals hone negotiation skills — as well as a nationally regarded keynote speaker, session leader and panelist on the Art of Negotiation. Eldonna may be reached online at www.EldonnaLewisFernandez.com

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