When I hold my training events or go to associations, organizations or corporations and do training events, sometimes people are surprised that I have an element of personal development inserted into the training.  Negotiation is simply discussions to agree on a deal, but it’s not always a business deal. It can be employee to employee, parent to child, spouse to spouse etc.  Everything is Negotiable.

The number one thing you need in order to be a good negotiator is confidence, confidence in yourself and your negotiation position.  The self confidence comes from doing the inner work.  The power is in the work.  So how do you get to that level of confidence.  You have to work on that person within and find peace within yourself.  That means relaxing in grace, remember what matters most, get to know your higher power better, review where you need to grow, forget what can’t be changed and focus on the future.

Too many times in my past, I lived in the past.  I worried, I wanted to do something to change the past.  Thinking about how silly that sounds now makes me laugh.  Really?  I spent time on thinking about how I could change the past?  The “what if’s” and the “if only’s.” I lived with regrets, I held unforgiveness, I was stuck in the tradition of “it’s always been done that way.” Enlightenment comes from doing the work to let go of all that mess.  I did the work, I let it go.  That doesn’t mean that life will never give me a punch to my gut.  It happens, that’s part of life.  I may regret poor choices I’ve made at some point but if I did something to make those choices or wrongs right and keep moving forward, that’s all I can do.  I have to forget what can’t be changed and focus on the future.

Many things have happened to me over the last year.  Some good, some bad.  Some that made me very happy and others that made me very sad.  If I chose to stay in yesterday and regret some of the things I’ve done, choices I’ve made or experiences I’ve had, then I will be stuck in those events and day to day life will pass me by.  It’s challenging sometimes to move on after a loss or when life’s challenges knock on your door.  How you negotiate through those challenges and where you come out on the other side is the true test of courage and faith.

Inner peace is the thing in life we should strive for the most and is priceless beyond any possession or level of success we can possibly achieve.  It doesn’t mean we will never be rocked to our core by life but going down that path with peace as our foundation gives us a better place to deal with life’s challenges from.

As you become a better negotiator in professional life, remember also the personal side of your life is also an area to achieve negotiation mastery in.

P.S.  Happy Birthday Randy Mathews – Missing you and having no regrets that you came into my life for a brief moment.

Note: Some of the concepts were adapted from the message from Saddleback church/Pastor Rick Warren’s message on Five Daily Habits for Happiness