Do You Want To Be BItter or Better – Speak Life

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February 20, 2014
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Are you bitter... or BETTER?Bad things happen to good people all the time.  Sometimes there’s no explanation why. There are always things to learn but in the end being bitter about something bad done to you or a bad experience will steal your joy and peace of mind for today.

It does take some time to get past certain things.  The goal should be to let it go so it doesn’t take up rent free space in your life.  Easier said than done, I understand that.  However, the choice I personally had to make was do I want to be bitter or do I want to be better?

Anyone who knows my story, knows I’ve experienced a lifetime of chronic trauma.  Abuse and neglect from my alcoholic parents, rape, domestic violence, abusive relationships, psychological warfare in the Middle East during a deployment.  Friends and family who have done hurtful things.  Business associates who did me wrong, attacks by people based on their perceptions, supervisors who attempted to destroy my career, trusted advisors who lied or did unscrupulous things…… the list goes on and on and on.  I’m sure you have some too.

I probably have more mess in my past than the average person.  Some have told me they are surprised I’m still smiling and not in the looney bin somewhere. Why am I not?  Part of it is my faith and part of it is my conscious choice to speak life to myself every day in my thoughts and actions.  I did the work and still do the work today to get past the mess.  The power is in the work.  I am careful who I surround myself with, what I watch, read, and listen to.  The old saying garbage in, garbage out applies here.

If you think about the person or situation and you feel a burning, seething anger rise up, you are definitely carry some resentment.  Resentment is the poison we take that we think kills others but it really kills our spirit.  Choose life for your spirit, not death.  Sometimes I have to pray rose petals at someone’s feet who has done me wrong for many many many days until the anger subsides.

Take the necessary steps to speak life to yourself each and every day.  My favorite book says the power of life and death is in the tongue.  That’s not just about speaking to others.  It’s also about what you speak to yourself. Be mindful of your thoughts, your actions and your associations.  Be on purpose to speak life to yourself each and every day.

Here’s a great video by TobyMac called Speak Life.  Check out the lyrics.  What are you going to do to Speak Life today?

[pb_vidembed title=”Speak Life Toby Mac” caption=”” url=”” type=”yt” w=”480″ h=”385″]

Eldonna Lewis Fernandez
Eldonna Lewis Fernandez
Veteran negotiation and contracts expert Eldonna Lewis-Fernandez, author of “Think Like a Negotiator,” has over 30 years of experience crafting killer deals both stateside and internationally, many in excess of $100 million. She’s currently the CEO of Dynamic Vision International — a specialized consulting and training firm that helps individuals hone negotiation skills — as well as a nationally regarded keynote speaker, session leader and panelist on the Art of Negotiation. Eldonna may be reached online at

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