Annual Reflection – My Mother Died Today

Breakthroughs Before Breakfast
April 15, 2016
May 20, 2016

My mother died today….when I was 12.  I often wonder what it would be like to know her in an adult mind.  She was out of her mind from alcoholism (her cause of death) long before that. I had a bad childhood.  Worse than many.  She abused me verbally and left me with no self-esteem.  She abused me emotionally and left me on edge most of my life.  She abused me physically at times as well.

The imprint period of our lives if from 0-7 years old.  What we are imprinted with we take into our adult lives and it’s hard to re-imprint that unless we do some work on ourselves.  I was imprinted with believing I was no good, a loser, worthless.  I reinforced that by getting abused in relationships, physically, emotionally and mentally.  Not just with significant others but also with bad choices in friends at different times in my life.

It took a whole lotta work and a whole lotta love to turn that around.  My faith in God sustained me through it all but the key was I had to believe I was not only worthy of God’s love but that I could love me.  Many people live in their past and drag the pain of what happened to them into their present and let it stay there and run their lives. I too did that for a long time until I realized I was the problem and the solution.  I had to take the action to do the work and let the healing happen.

It’s a miracle that I have peace of mind today.  The peace that God gives me goes beyond all understanding.  It was there for me all along, I had to believe it was there, ask for it and receive it.

Today I am far from perfect but one things for sure,  I have left the past in the past.  The Power is in The Work.  You do The Work, you will have The Power.

Eldonna Lewis Fernandez
Eldonna Lewis Fernandez
Veteran negotiation and contracts expert Eldonna Lewis-Fernandez, author of “Think Like a Negotiator,” has over 30 years of experience crafting killer deals both stateside and internationally, many in excess of $100 million. She’s currently the CEO of Dynamic Vision International — a specialized consulting and training firm that helps individuals hone negotiation skills — as well as a nationally regarded keynote speaker, session leader and panelist on the Art of Negotiation. Eldonna may be reached online at

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