Calm is not Weak

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Mastery Monday – Calm is not Weak.

Calm means not showing or feeling nervousness, anger, or other emotions; absence of violent or confrontational activity within a place or group; pleasantly free from wind.

Weak means lacking the power to perform physically demanding tasks; lacking physical strength and energy – frail, feeble, delicate, fragile; Liable to break or give way under pressure; easily damaged.

I spent many years the opposite of calm. Growing up with alcoholic parents, I lived in chaos and constant turmoil. I was a whirlwind of activity. “pleasantly free from wind” would not have described me. I was easily wound up and set off.

Today I am calm and peaceful because of the work I continually do on myself. I spent too many years in high stress and highly wound up and choose a different approach today. “Pleasantly free from wind” would describe me today. However, some have taken that to mean weak or lacking emotion. One person even claimed I had a “milk toast” personality. People equate my calmness at times to mean I’m weak or lacking depth and then when they get to know me they are pleasantly surprised as to how much there really is to me.

I am an introvert. I get my energy from being by myself vs with people. I always say God had a funny sense of humor to lead me to be a speaker and in the public. I have to maintain my energy and take care of myself to make sure I don’t get drained.

When I go into a situation, I do a lot of “situational awareness” activities that I learned in the military. I survey the situation, the people and the environment. I am relatively quiet at first as I’ve found sometimes that all there is to me is overwhelming to many people.

I continue to improve who I am and choose a drama free life. My faith in God is the center of who I am and I live according to his purpose for me.

Calm is a great thing to achieve. I am grateful that I feel peace inside and don’t have the chaos I once had. I live in the room of possibility and inevitability that things are better with me in them.

If MSgt Fernandez needs to show up to handle a situation, I have no problem stepping into that role or any other role to let people know I mean business. I am calm and powerful at the same time. Calmness is power and The Power is in The Work.

Eldonna Lewis Fernandez
Eldonna Lewis Fernandez
Veteran negotiation and contracts expert Eldonna Lewis-Fernandez, author of “Think Like a Negotiator,” has over 30 years of experience crafting killer deals both stateside and internationally, many in excess of $100 million. She’s currently the CEO of Dynamic Vision International — a specialized consulting and training firm that helps individuals hone negotiation skills — as well as a nationally regarded keynote speaker, session leader and panelist on the Art of Negotiation. Eldonna may be reached online at

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