Mastery Monday – Jealousy and Selfishness Will Stop Success

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Mastery Monday – Being jealous is defined as feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages. Being selfish is defined as lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.

We have a lot of that going on in the world. People angry when someone else accomplishes something good in their life or is successful at something.

If you’ve ever had that feeling inside where you are envious, jealous, unhappy or other feelings of maybe anger, sadness or similar emotions when you hear or read of someone’s success, check yourself.

Social media often exaggerates peoples status in life. People sometimes put up the “rose petals and fairy dust” life when they are really struggling inside. It may make you feel like you are failing or the only one struggling. Don’t pay attention to all the rhetoric.

However, there are the instances where friends or family are succeeding and you may not be. Instead of being upset for their success and go to the “why not me” pity party, be happy for them and their accomplishments.

Maybe you should ask them for some tips and advice on how they got there. They surely had struggles, doubts and fears along the way. No one who has any level of success had an easy ride along the way.

Jealousy is much like resentment, it is poison to your body and mind. It can keep you focused on other people instead of on your own success and how to get beyond your struggles.

The last time I was in Kenya, I was interviewing women in our Baskets and Beads group to get their stories about how Baskets and Beads has improved their lives (see blog at). The first day I interviewed 5 women. The second day I interviewed only 5 because the other women who were not in our group and making the beads were jealous and threatened the women. They were afraid to have me in their homes because they were afraid of being attacked.

These other women have the same opportunity to join in and make the beads. Instead of finding out how they too can be successful and reap the rewards of becoming bead makers, they tore down the women who are having success. Jealousy and selfishness are in every walk of life and will destroy everyone in its path.

Don’t waste your energy, thoughts or focus on someone else. Celebrate their successes and figure out what thoughts or fears are blocking you from moving forward. At the same time, find out what made them successful. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to find out. You can ask people for a few minutes of their time to talk with them and see what you can learn to implement in your own life.
There is enough room at the top for everyone. We don’t have to tear others down to lift ourselves up. We don’t have to be angry about someone else’s success and we don’t have to feel sorry for ourselves because we aren’t there yet.

Real success takes faith and perseverance. You have to learn how to have unshakeable faith and keep working to make your goals and dreams come true. Faith comes first then The Power is in The Work.

Eldonna Lewis Fernandez
Eldonna Lewis Fernandez
Veteran negotiation and contracts expert Eldonna Lewis-Fernandez, author of “Think Like a Negotiator,” has over 30 years of experience crafting killer deals both stateside and internationally, many in excess of $100 million. She’s currently the CEO of Dynamic Vision International — a specialized consulting and training firm that helps individuals hone negotiation skills — as well as a nationally regarded keynote speaker, session leader and panelist on the Art of Negotiation. Eldonna may be reached online at

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